Thursday, April 21, 2011
My mum just pointed to my smu acceptance letter and asked if it was a prank. cause she thinks that it was still way too early for acceptance to start. gawd, which mum would ever say that== haha, mine do :p
finally decided to sit down and type out a proper blog post. was ages before i did this. ohwells. been reflecting alot lately. dont think anyone would read this. but just feel like penning down my thoughts :]
dear, i feel really happy for you. i know this is what you wanted and this is your dream. im really glad to see you finally chasing after it. yes, its tough. but which person chase after his/her dream without going through a trying period? --> okay, the sentence structure is weird :x
so be brave :] im here.
sometimes it feels sorta lonely to look at people move ahead. dear moving on with his navy dream, my bro with his dancing (im really amazed at his improvement!), friends overseas and having a whole new experience, friends finishing their first year of uni and so on. i want this break to end. so at least i will be moving forward to do some catch up.
but somehow i dont want school to start cause of the many uncertainties. dam, im such a bloody ironic person. ==
life wasn't harsh but neither was it kind on me lately. i just dont feel the peace D:
yes, i did get accepted into a local uni (which i was dying for last year) but i was not as happy as i thought i would be. this just means that another wave of uncertainty and insecurity are coming in again when one just ended (japan). my boy will be in ocs and its not helping either. i hate taking up risks but i know it cant be avoided :x
i just know that i want to last through this tough period together with dear and i am confident that we will :]
work is alright. its monotonous but the people in office are generally nice. i just find it rather difficult to digest the fact that im gonna stick with this job for another 3months :x
i am content. and i am happy with what i have now. my dear is awesome, i have awesome friends, family and health. though i did lost some weight lately :x and i have a uni to go to. but to me, its difficult to juggle all of them together, well. i have to compromise one to satisfy another. and it goes on. never will it come to a balance. which sucks!
God do listen and answer prayers. i've been praying so hard to get into singapore uni. and yes, God gave it to me :] but seldom did i pray for kinships/friendships (besides dear and i) and i can feel that this part of my life's being neglected ]: realised that i've always took these both relationships for granted :x
hai, relationships shouldn't be so tiring right...
i pray for healing.
i miss my dear bad ]: feels empty without him. i know im not the best gf, but still stay by me always yes? :]
japan trip was an really eye opener. i learnt and experienced many things that i never thought i would (earthquake being one of them :p ). it also made me truly realise how much you mean to me and me to you.
so yup, i wont screw up okay? :]
and oh, one more thing. i cut my hair! from waist length to shoulder! the joyce 2 months back would never have thought of this. rather impulsive but im glad that i did :] refreshing!
well, i still feel like shrinking away from all these bullshit and running away with you..
<3
short hair:]
love. 11:42 PM
